Instagram Video added to the product

Today it was announced, in Facebook headquarters at Menlo Park, that Instagram will be releasing a video feature on their 130 million monthly user apps. Over 16 billion photos have been shared on Instagram. Now we can only assume the same will happen for Instagram video.

Instagram video is very Vine like and can be 15 seconds long. There are 13 new filters for video only and you can add cover frames. There is also a stabilization feature that will stabilize the shots. Do you like the new news? Are you excited for the new video feature? Tell me what you think about it. Is it slick? Is it what you hoped for? It is released already, go update to Instagram version 4.0.0!

Check out the official announcement here.

Here are some shots:

 

The "big" announcement!

Instagram announced a video feature today 6/20/13 at Facebook headquarters in Menlo Park

Instagram announced a video feature today 6/20/13 at Facebook headquarters in Menlo Park

instavideo4 instavideo3 instavideo2 instavideoInstagram video on Android

I Love Vegas – Here Is Why

I spent this last weekend in Vegas with my wife and some friends. No, there was no bachelor party and no I did not make myself sick from intoxication.

I know what everyone thinks. Being mormon, what do you do in vegas? The normal person has about 3 things to do in Vegas: 1) gamble 2) drink 3)clubbing. But the reason why I love Vegas so much has nothing to do with any of that. Kinda. It’s actually very simple. If you add billions of $$$’s to anywhere, it’s gonna make that anywhere place completely awesome. Even if that place is a huge barren desert.

A while ago I told my wife that Macklemore was playing down in St. George and that I wanted to go. Then my friends pitched the idea of going to Vegas after the concert. I think everyone kind of knew that I needed it. I think they had secret meetings about it. They probably met in some secret area like that tunnel that runs underneath University Ave. They said things like “Wow, Tyler is annoying. Seriously, Tyler is losing this mind. I can’t hear about school and BYU one more minute”. I say this because everyone was so agreeable to go and the trip was planned super easy.

What did I do in Vegas? Why do I love Vegas so much? My reason for loving vegas:

I Love Vegas - Hash House A Go Go

1. FOOD

We all know I love food. I think it all started with me watching an obscene amount of cooking reality shows. I get hungry watching those. We all kn

ow that mormon love their restaurants. Seriously though, on a typical friday night in Provo, UT every restaurant has an hour wait time because all people do is eat out in Utah. Well in Vegas the food is taken to the next level.

I absolutely loved Hash House A Go Go. Yes that is the name of the place. Dudes, it’s a MUST do. I don’t care which one you go to (there are like 4 of them all over Vegas). The snickers pancake is amazing. The chicken and waffles are bigger than your face!

If you love authentic asian food then you have to go to both Kj Dim Sum at the Rio, and Lemongrass Thai restaurant at the Aria. Kj Dim Sum is seriously like being in China. The food is so good but you have to know what to get, otherwise you might end up with a chicken leg on your plate. I don’t swing that way. Then Lemongrass at the Aria…is purely amazing because it is so nice, modern, and clean. I loved the Curry and Pad Thai.

I love Vegas - Nike Store

2. Shopping

Now I say shopping, but only very carefully. Too much can ruin a trip, and I mean absolutely put a stopping halt on all fun in Vegas. But guys, lets get realistic we can only take so much of it.

But the shopping in Vegas is like no where else. Where else can you can go purchase awesome shirts and shoes for $5 at the outlets and then 15 minutes later walk down the strip and buy a pair of Louboutins for $1,200. I would never do such a thing and buy $1200 dollar shoes but I am just saying that you can, if you want.

I guess I like the shopping in Vegas so much because my wife does. When she’s happy, I am happy, or something like that…right? She can go for hours. I obviously can’t. Sometimes she lets me go because I am being such a nuisance in every store.  Usually I ask her if I can tap out and ask if I can take $50 bucks and go to the nearest blackjack table and pass some time. So MUCH to my surprise, this one time she agreed. It was as rare as an alien sighting. Twice. Because my wife doesn’t like gambling. But I went and turned $50 into a lot more than $50. A little gambling while in Vegas can’t hurt. It was like I scraped together every last dollar and agreed on no birthday or Christmas presents for like the next 12 years.

I Love Vegas - Panoramic

3. Vegas Mentality

I feel like Vegas changes your self perception. If you are ugly and nasty, in Vegas you are super fly and hotter than Halle Berry (or that what half the girls walking around think). If you are poor and work at McDonalds, in Vegas you are a millionaire at the roulette table. Apparently when I am in Vegas I am an 18 year old because every time I went anywhere I got carded. But hey, I’ll take the complement.

There seriously is just more to do in Vegas. I am talking about shows (always check half price tickets, the stands are everywhere), attractions, sight seeing, and just plain walking around in Vegas is entertaining. Walk around the strip for 5 minutes in Vegas and if you DON’T see something absolutely ridiculous and entertaining, I will pay you $5.

I am now home, back in Provo, and I wish I was back in Vegas already. It probably has something to do with the fact that Provo consists solely of school and work for me right now. And Vegas consisted solely of party, spending money, eating and releasing huge amounts of endorphins.

Huge thanks to our friends who we owe a million ponies and rainbows for making the trip awesome.

On the drive home to Utah I saw an awesome deal for the Palms hotel on Groupon. And you better believe I planned that ish right quick.

Things in life I may never understand.

There are some things in life you will never understand no matter how hard you try, and its better just to leave them as they are. If you do not you are going to spend your whole life over thinking every little thing that happens, and be left with no time to figure yourself out. When this happens you are going to be like a confused Justin Bieber.

I don’t understand people who enjoy running a marathon. Honestly, you pay money to run. Sure maybe you get a medal but so does everyone else who runs the thing. I can see running marathons if you are honestly one of the best in you area or state. But if you are a Joe Schmoe, I just don’t understand.

I don’t understand cricket. But I respect it.

I don’t understand when people name their children generic names. In elementary school I remember thinking to myself “If I have to be referred to as Tyler R. one more time…”

I don’t understand whitey tighties. The male underwear that are like women underwear. I don’t know why they were ever invented.

I don’t understand the incredible popularity of Twilight amongst even adults. I have not read the books and I’ve watched a few of the movies and yeah they were way over my head. I reckon I would have absolutely loved them if I was a 12 year old school girl.

I don’t understand this Korean dating site. Not seriously, I don’t understand it, if you speak korean leave me a comment.

The point of this post is to shed some light on the fact that there are things in life that we will not understand. I try to respect that people have desires, goals, and interests that are totally in conflict with mine. Including people who believe in doing things completely different than me like watching Gossip Girl. I know that there is a path that led us all to the choices that we make. But, I am not you, and you are not me. Everyone has their opinion and way in life.

I’m a lazy blogger

I have had absolutely no time to blog lately. Hence I haven’t for about 3 weeks. So I am writing just to prove that there is still life here…

My election day birthdays are below par. But it’s cool.

Hi. This is me on no sleep. Well, there was some sleep I guess. Just only between the hours of 3am-4am and 4:05am – 7:45am.

Here are the disclaimers: (1) I went to bed at 3 because I was doing some above average design work and I was just feeling the moment and if I stopped I would have gone back to the average design me. (2) There is a 5-minute window when I woke up from a dream involving a cow slaughterhouse and an island murder. (3) I was woken up at 7:45 from my wife who was frantically calling me about voting for today’s election day. She said she was rejected at our assigned polling place, so she made me ruffle through the garbage for a piece of paper that was taped to our door a week ago that had our designated polling place written on it. Amazingly, because of my history of rummaging through garbage, I found the paper. I told her to threaten to hack the polls if they didn’t let her in, but she wouldn’t do it.

The morning was a whole lot to do off no sleep and I’m ovah it. So I am cranky. Ugh, but no sleep t.rich is clearly rude. So I am sorry. I should have started by thanking you for coming and suffering through this boring blog, or even better, thank those who have voted today. Because that ish is important, but that’s not even what this post is about. However it seems like it is going to take over the topic of today’s post.

Originally I was going to post about my birthday tomorrow (I know, I’m vain). But while writing this I have found that there is a better topic afoot.

Every 4 years my birthday is overshadowed by our country’s presidential election. Even right now, as we speak, this blog post is suffering from the same disease…election-over-shadowing-itis. There is no cure for it. We just have to let it take it’s course.

I am not blaming anyone because I actually ignore my birthday on those days too. And if it was someone else’s birthday on election day, I would ignore the crap out of it. I’m not saying we should forget about voting, election day, and our country because I’m all about it. But it would be majestic if I at least got a shout out from a candidate or something. “I promise to bring down taxes. Oh, and t.rich, happy birthday”. My klout rating would sky rocket!

Honestly my birthdays are pure awesome. Just the ones on or the day after president election days drift a bit. I just want the election day birthdays to be up to par, for their sake, because I could care less. I have this weird thing where I feel like my birthdays are living things and have feelings and prepare their whole miserable birthday life for their one day to shine. That being said, my election day birthdays are going through some deep depressions. I’m sorry little guys.

I guess I just need to put my life on hold for a year, because my most important birthdays have fallen on election years. This year is my 25th birthday, it’s tomorrow, and that’s a quarter of a century. I am now older than half the world (don’t believe me? Look). Then the last election date, 4 years ago, was on my 21st birthday! Then 8 years ago on Election Day, I was 17. Then before that my 13th. I was going through some serious puberty issues at the time and no one cared! Seventeen isn’t that important, but you catch my drift.

What my typical election birthday conversation looks like:

Someone:             Tyler, did you vote?
Me:                       Yea, I voted …oh… and today is my birthday
Someone:             Ok, who did you vote for?
Me:                       No. I said today is my birthday.                                                    Someone:             Turn the channel to fox news please.

What my dream election birthday conversation looks like:

Someone:             Tyler, did you vote?
Me:                       Please address me appropriately.
Someone:             Award winning birthday homie, t.rich, did you vote?
Me:                       Yes, I did.                                                                                     Someone:             Awesome. Happy birthday. Here is $100.

For those coming to this post thinking this had something to do with politics, I am very sorry. My titles can be sometimes very misleading. But to let you know I am thinking about you, here is a picture for your enjoyment:

I bet one of these guys will win.

 

Are you a student? Yup. Want to start a business? No. Well ya should!

With in this last year, 3 other crazy fools and I decided it would be a smart idea to start a business. Although it scared me, more than the Blair Witch circa 1999, I decided to quit my hourly job and go for it. It was something that was inevitable because like many people say it is in my blood. From my ADD background I always led myself to believe that my blood contains 100% Red Bull.

This has been my first business. So no I’m not a business startup expert (that’s directed to you twitter business snobs. You know who you are). But I have had some good things happen and some bad things. I researched the ish out of business startups and it only made me more of a mental patient on the topic. I scoured the Internet for advice, and with all the information I’ve come to find out that you can really never be too prepared for a startup. I just had to give it a shot, get out the building and start making things happen with mistakes and all.

For that reason this post is about why college years are a perfect time to start your own business. Since starting a business people always have asked, “dude how did you start it? I don’t know how to get it rolling.” I always tell them, “do it now! Just start dealing and doing!”

So here are my 5 reasons why college is the best time to start a business.

You learn awesome magician like management skills at a youthful age

Where else can you find customer relationships, branding, marketing, competitor analysis, financial analysis and managing expense skills all wrapped up into one? No where, that’s where! A startup forces you to learn these skills. Because if you don’t your business is a sinking ship and you’re going down with it captain.

Don’t wet yourself if your business fails. That’s what it is all about: starting, probably failing, and repeating. So even if your “insert-sweet-idea” business fails, every other company in the world values these skills.

The risk to reward ratio is highly in the rewards favor

I know multiple students and friends who have co-founded companies while they were studying at Universities and BAM, 5 years later, they have annual revenue of more than $100 million, millions of users, 800 employees, or even five offices across the country. What did they risk and put on the line for that success? Very little compared to a 40 year old dad of 3 wound up kids and a wife who controls his every move.

I promise when you are in your college years, you have nothing to lose because you have nothing. You can literally live off no money because you have no family to take care of, you haven’t entered a career, you are single or just barely married, and your only responsibilities are school and your 8-dollar-an-hour job at Wendy’s! Your risk to reward ratio is shooting out of the roof and it is begging you to take advantage of it.

When you make mistakes in the real world, it’s true, you lose real money. But if you have no money or job to lose then what are you risking? Being in college takes you away from the structured safe environment that most people have during the majority of their life. It is the time to take risks and fall flat on your face a few times.

As a student people will just straight up like you more

A lot of success in my business has come from the sheer fact that I am a student. I have yet to figure out why, but there is something in the phrase “I am going to blank blank university” that makes people listen and like you. They think you are this smart and amazing person for getting into school and actually staying there. Plain and simple society will just flat out like you more.

For example, when starting my business there were companies, management personnel, and successful businessmen that I identified as people in my particular space that I wanted to talk to. They were all very busy people but when I dropped the “I am going to blank blank university” line, they all treated me like a homeless dog and took me right in. It was some magical wonder.

Universities have secret resources for only students

Being a student really helped me in launching my business by having resources that I would not have access to outside of school. There are student deals you can get that the average person doesn’t have access to. Such as web hosting, PayPal credits, office rent, and access to research databases. Go ask around your university’s business school and you would be surprised at all the free crap they offer.

Plus you have the ability to mingle with other students and professors who have started a company or are currently starting one. It’s like a business brotherhood.

Students have way more free time during school than they think

Like I said above, starting a business while in college is less of a career risk since students don’t have a career. I always hear students complain, “uhhhh…I have so much to do and no time to do it”. Honestly if school takes 20 hours of your day, you need to pick up some Wyoming brochures and get the heck out! Students have so much time compared to people working a full time job. Sure maybe you are taking 16 credits and have to study, but realistically if you stopped playing modern warfare, got off pinterest and facebook, and spent less time impressing the opposite sex you would have enough time to do anything. Don’t lie to yourself; your life is just as lamely awesome as mine.

Start a business in college because you don’t have to leave another job in order to do it; instead, you can just work on your business on the side while still in school. That will give you time to figure out whether it is really a viable career option by the time you graduate.

Although college courses are important for student training, starting and running a business can teach skills you won’t get sitting in a lecture hall and performing a great rendition of the sleep nod. (you know how I feel about school from this post)

 

Bro…protein…Bro, bro workout bro. Yeah bro

Today was day 1 of ‘lose-fat-so-I-can-be-magical-at-basketball-and-shred-up-because-I’m-fat-and-if-I-go-to-cancun-in-november-like-this-I’m-going-to-embarrass-my-mom’ exercise/diet plan.

I know you’re thinking…men don’t think like this. Not true. We worry, its just not how skinny we are, it’s how jacked we are. But there are a few reasons why I feel like I need to hit the gym harder and eat better.

1) Facebook ruins lives. I’m not talking romantic or relationship lives. I’m talking my personal appearance life. Other people posting pictures of you on Facebook should be banned and illegal. I’m glad my 1,154 friends all get to see me caught in some candid and I seriously look like the 65 year old Hulk Hogan post-steroids. The brownies in my hand weren’t a nice touch either.

2) I went to Wal-Mart, last night at 1 a.m., and while my wife was grabbing what we went there for, I decided to go browse for things that we didn’t go there for. I saw a shirt and I was like, I want it. I realized that the clothing there is sized like way big so you feel like super skinny, when really they are just sizing things for the majority of fat Americans. So when I am an XL in the fat America sizes, that’s when my huge lard signal went off.

3) When your spouse learns how to shake things and pull on things to watch them move around, that’s a good lard signal. And then they start to shake other parts. And then it keeps shaking for a good 2-3 rotations simply from your spouse’s initial force. I admit, it’s fun, but man I feel like Bruce from the movie Matilda.

So that’s where I drew the line. I knew I needed to get back to working out like I did 3 years ago. And I wanted to shake things up. So I wanted to do p90x. I mean I could do that right? I see all the fat people on TV turn to shreds. But I always came up with excuses of why not to do p90x like: I have a cold, I feel like it’s Monday, I am sooo behind on walking dead, or my wife is on her period.

So I bailed on p90x. I took the next best route. I decided on some other workout motivation. It’s called caffeine. There are some pre-workout supplements that just get you going. Some stuff called JACK3D I use is great, and that name alone sold me on it. Not to mention its said “get this now, it’s discontinued, buy quick”. So I just obeyed.

But here’s the thing. Working out is not the same as a few years ago. Life is different now. I can’t spend 2 hours at the gym and eat a bag of nuts all day. I used to go balls to the wall because I wanted to see results and see them fast. I was on the hunt. I’m talking lifting super hard and super fast. My body is just not the same anymore. My expectations are too high. As I’m writing this I’m like, “I WORKED OUT THIS MORNING MY BICEPS SHOULD BE POPPING OUT OF THIS SHIRT”. I have to coop with reality.

So here’s the plan. There is no plan. Well, I guess there is sort of a plan. Just keep going and give the gym an honest go. No more going to the gym, shooting around a basketball, and calling it good. Oh, and I’m going to start saying bro a lot more and go tanning at least 3 times a week, that should do the trick, right? I’m also not going to weigh myself because the scale is *clearly* an evil liar. Plus guys like to have weight. Fact – muscle weighs more than fat.

The goal is before cancun in November. So I have a little more than a month. It’s short but possible.

Peace. I have to go squeeze my fat in the mirror now to get more motivation.

T.Rich’s Alternate Path to Success

When chilling on my computer during class today, I knew exactly what I wanted to blog about today: About how much I think school is pointless. I’m not talking about the basics of elementary or high school, I’m talking about the higher over-excessive education.

Background:

*Disclaimer* I’m mainly talking about school from a business world perspective. This post isn’t for everyone. If you are studying to be a doctor or lawyer or what not, you better know what the crap you are doing before you shove a scapula into my living flesh or protecting me against some serial rapist in court!

You also should know that I have the opposite brain of Albert Einstein. I think he was blessed with some genius mind cells, yet he was always saying, “I’m really not that smart.” I on the other hand am always lying to myself saying, “I am so super smart” when in reality I am not.

MY BRAIN has a comparable disease to an eating disorder that girls have. Except my disease is the complete opposite. You know the one where they look in the mirror and see a big fatty but really they are like skeletor? The opposite would be a girl thinking they are so gorgeous that they should be on people magazine’s front cover. Yeah, now imagine that for my brain. I’m like sitting in class and I’m like, “Daaang t-rich, you are so smart. You don’t have to study and read books”. And then I pretend like I’m getting A+’s on everything I do.

Now to the juicy stuff, WHY I THINK SCHOOL COLLEGE IS POINTLESS:

You can literally learn whatever you want, when you want!

Schools think for some reason that they are the only ones that have any information in this world. I hate to break it to schools but this isn’t 1979 when the best technology was the Sony Walkman, which was a $200 purchase. Back in 1979, this would be a different blog post. In 1979 I’d say that schools DID have a lot of the information.

Don’t know if you guys have heard of Wikipedia.com, but it is made of the gold at the end of a rainbow. Ask my wife, on a road trip one time I wikipedia-surfed for 6 consecutive hours. Don’t tell my professors but any report I do in school is stolen from there anyway, so why not just learn straight from the source.

Ask anyone how much he or she actually remember of his or her university studies and see what responses you get. I promise a lot of their answers will be a butt-load of “uhhhh”. There’s a simple reason that a lot of people don’t remember and that’s because they chose subjects that they weren’t passionate about and did not continue studying after they left. They think: ‘I did what I needed to pass and now I can leave it behind.’ We all just go to school to get a degree.

I don’t need a piece of worthless paper telling me that I’m qualified to do a job. Yet, for some reason, I’m still trying to get that piece of paper.

On top of it all university admissions have been consistently going up. Upon completing university students are now, on average, about $45,000 in debt. Trust me, I googled it. The post-school portion of students’ lives will begin with a huge financial burden. If you ask me I’d rather have invested that $45,000 into starting a company and maybe of paid Lindsey Lohan to do an awesome celebrity commercial! Ew…joke.

A degree is also not worth what it once used to be. People all over the business industry without degrees are as successful as those with a degree.

My mind-blowing list of examples: Bill Gates, Ralph Lauren, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Henry Ford, and a bunch of freaking rich Indians!

So you’ve studied for 3 years and what have you actually achieved? You sure are not as well off as those homies.

The truth is that you memorized a lot of information but applying that information was not part of the learning process. The business world is about experience. Everybody wants to hire someone with experience. Everyone wants to hire someone who has done the job before and succeed. For example if you apply for Lady Gaga’s new stylist she’ll say “So what freaky awful clothes have you dressed someone up in before?”. She wants your answer to be “I dressed Marilyn Manson back in the day”. So unless you have that baller experience Lady Gaga will want nothing to do with you.

So how do I land the Lady Gaga job and get to the point to where someone wants to hire and work with me? I need experience! We all need to just get out of the building and start making mistakes and gaining experience.

The world from my point of view is about faking it til you make it. In high school I used to be the BEST faker maker. I mean, I didn’t even think about it. It was just second nature. I’d walk around faking it all the time and making things happen. As my junior year math teacher. She basically told my parents that “t.rich is an idiot, but he will be someone someday”. From the little I’ve seen in the business world, it is the same. We need to sell ourselves. Not in the sleezy way, but the smart man way because sometime in the business world people get that confused (winky face)

Point of this is just to say that there are many different ways to be successful. Don’t just be another clone and assume that once you have your degree that you’ve made it. I’ve heard too many horror stories.

Like tupac says “dats just the way it is”.

This is basically just me ranting. Bad day at school I guess.

Oh and I really don’t want that Lady Gaga job. Just to clear the air.

 

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5 things about Disneyland that only I am going to tell you!

Hey homies. Let’s go.

Guess what? I went to Disneyland last week. (Do you capitalize the L in that? So it’s DisneyLand? Nope, that looks wrong.) And no, I don’t have kids. And yes everyone I went with was over the age of 21. Lame? Maybe just a little bit. But it’s like the happiest place on earth right? Wrong! Well maybe it can be.

world of color etched from buzz lightyears laser in mickeys fart cloud

world of color etched from buzz lightyears laser in mickeys fart cloud

In honor of this past week of Disneyland I wanted to 1st) show you this video and 2nd) talk about my experience. There are 5 things about Disneyland that you don’t read about on myawesomespectaculartriptodisneylandforafamilyandjoyousbonding.blogspot.com. I know, I went there. Weird.

As many of you know, I like Disneyland. What you may not know is that I’m an impatient whiny butt (ok you know that too) and that Disneyland is actually all WAITing. But with my A.D.D there are ways to get around that.

Here are my things:

thing 1) Everything in life should have a support group. Have hemorrhoids? Go to group. Have a bad haircut? Go talk about it with your group. I didn’t know this until I went, but there is a free “impatient line waiters” support group and I found out that many people are way worse than I am. It’s called talking to the people in line! The crazy thing about Disneyland is that everyone thinks that they are the most special people in the world and that they, for whatever reason, should be treated special. I was included in this mess.

It’s something about walking through those Disneyland gates that makes you think you are freaking awesome and that you should be escorted to the front of the line and every second should be catered to you. It’s not natural. You need support, because if the whole time in Disneyland you think that way and you will die. Get help, talk to your line support group, and they will make you realize you are just a hopeful retard like everyone else, so wait patiently!

thing 2) Go to Disneyland on notable group days! Im talking about designated days for certain groups. Like Mothers Across America days or Anaheim Regional Patients Days, or the days that we went on, the Anaheim Gay Days. That’s right, this is the secret weapon!

Everyone knows that Disneyland does not give discount tickets. It is like nearly impossible to find any sort of deal on a ticket. But not many people know that Disney gives discounts to these groups!

No, I’m not gay, but I sure don’t mind them when they throw a city wide event at Disneyland! We signed up on their website, and badda-bing-badda-boom, we got $50 off on a 2 day hopper pass. You are saving your family $50 a ticket by being a pretend member of the group. That makes you an outstanding member of your family. Now go buy yourself that extra popcorn in the park, you can afford it!

thing 3) Fastpass masters. Everyone knows that the point of a fastpass is to skip all the chumps in line and get on the ride before all of them while they give you the stink eye. So whats the catch? Every ride has a line to get a fastpass! The new carsland racers had a 45min or more wait to even get a fast pass.

So how do you beat the system? You go in the exit! Disney always has a worker watching the exit, but almost never are they actually watching the exit. The workers are helping people who don’t know how to put their park pass into the machine so it spits out a fast pass. So when the workers are helping these fast pass handicaps you can literally slip in the exit, claim a machine, swipe your park passes for you group, and get a fast pass in less then a minute. I did this every time. If you get caught, just say your doctor doesn’t want you to stand for more than 10 minutes due to a lack of unicorn like strength in your back.

thing 4) With Disney employees you always win.

Disney Employee: “Sir these fastpasses expired 3 hours ago”

Me: “I was in the bathroom” (I got on the ride, I won)

Disney Employee: “Sir please stop screaming”

Me: “I’m scared of this freaky snow white ride!” (I continued screaming, I won)

Disney Employee: “Sir please wait in line”

Me: “I can’t, I have back problems” (I win)

Disney Employee: “Sir, please walk!”

Me: (Running and not acknowledging him. I won.)

thing 5) Want some real Disney magic? Download the Disney Parks app. That thing is a beauty! Everything about this app is lazy. You want to go on Space Mountain? Don’t want to go over there to see the line wait time is because your feet hurt? Well look up the wait time and see if there are fast passes left. Sort of tired and extremely full from the 4 Dole Whips you had? And want to see when a show is? Look it up on the app. That way you probably won’t need a wise old tour guide lady to show you around the park. Then you can go on this sweet ride like 5 times.

So now go to Disneyland! Tell em T.RICH sent ya. They’ll know who I am, I think my wanted poster is on main street now…

 

“Allow me to re-introduce myself” – Jay-Z

My last blog post was boring, and I forgot to establish who I am or what I am going to do on this thing. This will most likely turn into a blog about page. So, here it goes.

Hello, I’m trich. But you can call me t-rich. You say it like “tee-riCH”. It’s like a rapper’s nickname he got from his home boys. Not like trich, or T.R.I.C.H. There is just a lot of confusion and I thought I would set things straight, because I just don’t want any guesses.

Hopefully it will be a honor to meet you. Welcome to my sweet world of awesome. I’m just a regular strength man, and actually probably less than average, with extra strength capabilities. Once upon a time I was a nobody, but then I found the internet, and the lush power it holds. Follow me through my journey of barking orders to my computer so it will spit out awesomeness in the form of blog entries.

Around my house I am the king of my mac book and the random insects that decide to stroll in. Other than that, I am ruled, by the one I love. Some would say I chose “death by marriage” but I say “it’s the best choice I ever made”. I live in the Provo suburbs. Yes that’s possible, it’s called Orem. I live with my wife. Sometimes she wishes that I didn’t, purely because sometimes I yell out loud words like “poop” and “WHHHAAAA?”.

This blog’s goal is to help everyone to find a way to have both your cake and eat it to. Except not at the same time, because that is just impossible. Because first you have it, then you eat it. You have my permission to take these blog entries and turn it into a book, and make millions. I get 89.3% of all profits though.

Have a good time here. Cheers. If you are looking for the other trich, look here.